This is an edit i made to look back on from the movie The End of The Tour. It was a movie I watched after achieving most of what I had wanted and feeling really no different. If anything, the realisation that achieving distinctions in medical school really did nothing to move the way I felt in any meaningful way actually left me worse off, because it wasn’t clear exactly how I was going to feel better anymore. Many years later now, I have a healthier view on things, but honestly it’s still very hard.