Let’s rethink the traditional concept of what it means to be strong. Unfortunately, the old idea of personal, tribal, and cultural strength have included the Four Bullets: ● The imposition of power over another ● A win-lose mentality ● Repression of one’s own emotions or needs ● And oppression of others to maintain the hierarchy We have been living with, and using this construct and calling it “strong” for thousands of years and we all know the consequences. Everywhere we see division, suffering, violence, and needless competition. The terrible irony is that even those who wield this kind of “strength” suffer from isolation and depression because they have repressed their full humanity. So the bill has come due on this toxic combination we’ve been calling “Strength.” It is time for a new way, a new definition. Social science and psychology tell us what kinds of behaviors and attitudes make for the best lives, relationships, and workplaces. I call them the Four Gifts: ● Power with others ● A win-win approach ● Expression of one’s full self ● Inclusion of others through vulnerability, multiculturalism & engagement But we can’t just abandon the concept of strength - we need it to face the daunting challenges of the 21st Century. The problem is, too many people have their identity caught up in the old meaning of “Strength.” What we can do though, is redefine the strength to include the Four Gifts. Let’s actively label and value vulnerability, cooperation, receptivity, inclusivity for what they are: courage and strength - powerful humanity. Charles’s presentations and workshops take the anxiety out of personal growth and interpersonal engagement. He speaks clearly about building stronger relationships though thoughtful communication, courage, and deep listening. His audience leaves ready and motivated to be more vulnerable, adaptable, resilient, and powerful. The communication techniques he promotes help parents maintain healthier family relationships, help romantic partners support one another more joyfully, and helps professional teams stay focused and productive. In 2010, Charles helped found a local chapter of Boys to Men Mentoring network and led that organization as its first professional executive director. Gathering a large team of community volunteers, that organization mentored over 1000 teenaged boys. In 2015, Charles helped found the national Boys to Men Mentoring organization and served as its Board Chair. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx